Life happens. It is happening every second of every minute, hour, day. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes it feels bad and that is the case for every single person on this planet. At some point and even at various points, you will endure a painful experience. It is not possible to skip the ‘bad parts’, even though we'd all like to.
We will all experience loss, the death of someone we love, perhaps feelings of unworthiness, painful break-ups and all kinds of shit times, and you know what? It’s ok to feel sad and it’s good to grieve any loss, no matter what kind it is.
What’s not ok though, is not allowing yourself to heal. Below are five stages of healing to help you move forward with your life. You need to move through the stages in your own time. Unfortunately, you can’t jump from one to five without falling back into one again. There is a process to healing and you owe it to yourself to look after you and do it properly.
Mourn your loss, whether that be the life of a person or an animal, a relationship, job or home. If it was there and now it’s not, it’s a loss. Feel sad and angry because those emotions need to be felt and acknowledged.
You can’t stay in sadness and anger forever. It’s not fair on you, you have a life to live and you owe it to yourself to move forward and find peace. Say goodbye to what once was and start thinking about what to do next. There is always a next but you can’t get there until you start moving.
Start doing things that make you happy
One of the big things that hold us back from happiness is guilt. We feel guilty for laughing or feeling good, it’s like something makes us smile and BAM guilt kicks in and we quickly move back into sad and anger mode. You are allowed to be happy and anyone who says otherwise is still stuck in stage one. They have their own healing to do, so leave them to it, you have work to do on yourself.
Talk to others
Healing can take some time and you may find your emotions take on the life of a rollercoaster, so talk to someone about how you are feeling. What is still hurting you? What is keeping you from letting go? You cannot usually get to the root of this when you’re in the first three stages, all of your emotions are extremely heightened so it’s hard to pinpoint the most painful ones. When your emotions settle, you are able to see through a clearer vision. Start talking, journaling or better still, do both.
Gratitude is the fast track way to happiness and inner peace. It’s time to start turning your attention to all the great things you have in your life. What are you grateful for? Every time you start to notice yourself thinking about things that make you sad, stop, acknowledge it and move back to gratitude. The more you repeat this, the more it becomes a habit.
How long does healing take?
Well, that depends on you. We all need a different amount of time in each stage, what’s important is that you do what feels right for you, but remember, you will need to move forward sooner or later if you want to be happy again.