Letting go of the past

If you want to move forward, first, you have to say goodbye to what is in your past. In this session, we will be focusing on releasing painful memories, forgiving ourselves and what it means to truly let go of the past. 

 

Have you ever wondered why we hold on to the past? It's like we know it is painful and not serving us in any positive way, but for some reason, we just can't shake it off! 

It's about certainty. As a human being, it's a natural instinct to want to be certain about what has happened and to feel confident that what you know is right and makes sense. When the opposite happens, and we don't have that certainty, we find it difficult to let it be. 

You're probably curious about why we think like this, why is it a human instinct? Well, it is all down to survival. Our very basic needs are all based around staying alive and this just goes to show how incredibly complex our conscious and subconscious minds really are!

Us humans can carry old pain, guilt and shame for decades, whilst still functioning well in society, able to show up to work and maintain healthy relationships, but never really reaching our full potential and obtaining our most desired dreams. We wake up each day with a feeling that more is out there for us but we can’t quite move forward to be able to reach it. Merely surviving isn’t enough, we want more from our existence and rightly so. Why just survive, when you can thrive?

 

This session applies to letting go of the past, period. There is no room for it in your future, it is time to release it back into history, where it belongs, where it can’t hurt you anymore. 

Piece of advice: This can sometimes be a painful and terrifying thing to do and the mere thought may deter you from facing it head-on, but I promise you, once you do, you will feel a huge weight lift from your shoulders and the future will look brighter and clearer than ever before. 

 

What information can we take from the past?

Let’s take a look back on the past year because there will be a lot we can learn from it. First things first, let's get ready. Grab yourself a notepad or the workbook and pen and a hot drink. It is time to just relax and focus on yourself!

Write down your answers and allow yourself time to really think about and reflect on your answers.

When has fear held you back?

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What are you most grateful for?

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What have been your biggest challenges?

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How did you deal with those challenges?

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Is there anything you learned that could help you deal with challenges better in the future?

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What has made you smile in the past?

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When was your bravest moment?

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When were you at your happiest?

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If you could take one (or more if you need to) lesson from your past, what would it be?

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Personal and/or professional, what are your biggest accomplishments?

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How did you feel after you reached these accomplishments?

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What really stands out to you about your past?

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Describe your life in 6 words.

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Now imagine your life was being made into a Hollywood blockbuster, what would you call it, using some or all of your chosen words?

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And just for fun, who would play you in the movie of your life? 

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Take a look back at how you have answered these questions. What stands out to you? What can you take from this to help you move forward in the future and what can be forgiven and left behind? Please make notes of your findings so you can come back to them when you need them.

The Universal Law of Polarity

The Law of Polarity states that anything that exists, has an equal and exact opposite. Period. For example happiness and sadness. Every situation has the possibility of either outcome, but both results are possible. Good and bad need to be present, in order for us to be able to differentiate the two. When I think of The Law of Polarity, I immediately think of Ying and Yang. The Ying and Yang symbol shows how two seemingly opposite forces can be complementary. The Law of Polarity is about balance. It teaches us that to have some sense of success requires us to know some sense of failure. It means that to live in the light (daytime) we also must know the dark (night time) because the natural order of the world is that the two must both exist. 

 

The Law of Polarity exists as a means to enable you to learn and discover that within every perceived problem lies its solution and within every perceived failure is its success. Let’s look at this as something more basic. Your left and your right. Both exist at the same time and both enhance the experiences of your life. You can turn left, or you can turn right, both are an option. You can also, choose to go in a straight line, this option is the balance between the two. The balance exists because of the two opposing sides and without them, we wouldn’t know the direction. This is the same with up and down. You don’t just go up and you don’t just go down. You experience a balance of the two. 

Everything is dual, so all the things that appear to be opposites are actually two inseparable parts of the same thing, holding a balance. So, if we look at an outcome for example; we want success. Success and failure are two in the same and are both possible outcomes that can manifest from your desire, but how would we know what success even was, if the failure wasn’t already experienced? Would the success feel as good, if we didn’t experience the knockback? Would we be who we are, if we hadn’t learnt that particular lesson? 

Making some room for the new…

 

Marie Kondo says anything that doesn’t make you happy or isn’t absolutely necessary should be touched, thanked and sent on its way. Decluttering your mind and mental state is a major step in moving forward and finding a harmonious balance, but equally important is decluttering your physical space. To make room for all the wonderful things you want to come into your life, you will need to start by removing all the old things that are no longer bringing any real value to your life. If your cupboard is full up with old cans and half-empty bags of pasta, then there won’t be any space for anything new. This metaphor spreads way past your actual kitchen cupboards and into every area of your life. 

 

In the book “The Power of Chowa” by Akemi Tanaka, Akemi writes about how many people in Japan believe that when the spirit of the house is happy, you are more likely to be happy too! It is nice to have things, of course it is, but too much ‘stuff’ can drain you of your productive and positive energy. So it’s time to get ruthless and declutter your home. 

 

Out with the old to make room for the new!

 

If you have not done this already, then I need to forewarn you, this is NOT a small task. You will need to put a morning or in some cases a day aside to complete this. It can be boring and tiring but in the end, you will feel great and you will have created a clean environment in which you bring in new life! 

 

I recommend doing this is one hit, rather than a bit here and a bit there. You may even benefit from bringing in a friend from outside of the home to help you decide on what to keep and what to remove. Remember, the outsider will not have the same emotional attachment to items as you do, so they will be able to help you see things objectively. 

 

What can you donate or give away?