What is fear?
To be able to conquer fear, first, we need to look at what fear really is. Fear is a feeling that is brought on by some kind of perceived threat or danger. Fear is a pattern that your subconscious mind has learnt.
Your subconscious mind stores and retrieves data based on what we experience in our conscious life. Your fear could be stored because of a series of negative events or traumatic experiences. Whenever you are facing the fearful situation, the same emotions stir up and the process gets reinforced through repetition.
For example: As a child, you could have fallen and the experience was so traumatic for you, that your subconscious took that information and stored as a potential danger, meaning that any event that could result in a potential fall, becomes a fear. It’s your subconscious minds way of protecting you.
Every experience is filed within your subconscious mind, so let’s say you had your heartbroken, the behaviours of the relationship leading up to the moment when you felt the most pain, are, without you consciously knowing, being stored and labelled ‘threat’. This, of course, can then lead to your own behaviours in future relationships, to become fearful. You may have become untrusting, unable to fully commit, or even ‘needy’.
The important thing to remember is that these behaviours are not you, they are just a reaction to the previous experience. Your subconscious mind is primarily survival-based, therefore, it will do everything it can to protect you. This is not logical, its purely survival.
The great news is that you can overcome your fears! You can talk to your subconscious mind and re-programme its data, to have new beliefs about past events, which in turn, will change the way you live your life, going forward!
One of the rules that the subconscious mind follows is that the beliefs it holds grow stronger by repetition. Therefore if you want to change the way it automatically processes its information about a certain event or situation, then you will need to actively and repeatedly tell it so.
Repetition can take various forms such as reading the belief, listening to it or visualising it.
Using the worksheet or a notebook, I would like you to list your fears in one column. Even the ones you think are not really that important or a big deal. What scares you? What do you think you cannot do? Think about this carefully because, in order to change your current beliefs, we need to understand what they actually are!
Now, make a column next to the fear list, and this time, I would like you to think about where this fear came from? What is your first memory of feeling this way and what happened to cause it?
The intention of this exercise is not to put you through old emotional trauma, but instead, help you to understand where the fear is coming from. Knowledge is power and by knowing your triggers, you will be able to take power over them.
Once you have your list of fears and causes, I’d like you to pick the one that you feel has the most emotional control over you right now. You will be able to go back and cover the others at a later date, but for now, we are going to work on the one that is causing you the most distress at this time.
So, you have your fear and your cause, now it is time to take this information to your subconscious mind...
Visualisation and self-hypnosis
Self-hypnosis is a technique you can do at home to help you connect with your subconscious mind and offer it new suggestions. Because this is something you do yourself, you can rest assured knowing that all the suggestions you make are from yourself and no one else.
You will need to get yourself in a deep, relaxed state. The reason for this is because you want to by-pass your conscious mind and get straight into the core to deliver your new, positive message.
If you currently have a fear of being alone, then you will want to tell your subconscious mind that you are no longer afraid of being alone.
The subconscious mind does not understand the same language as you do, so you will need to be very specific and simple in your choices of words to use and keep them positive.
I am confident and secure in myself.
I am happy with my own company.
Being alone is easy for me to deal with.
I enjoy being on my own.
These are called affirmations. They are messages that you can repeat to yourself every day, in repetition to re-train your current way of thinking.
What is visualisation?
Well, it’s the art of creating images in your mind, to communicate a message to your subconscious mind. Visualisation involves picturing in your mind the outcome of something before it's happened. Adding in a visual element to your chosen words will help your mind to bring the future outcome into your current situation.
I have created an audio below for you, with instructions on how to visualise. You can use this to overcome fears and also for times when you want to manifest something for your future. This is a wonderful technique and a truly power at that.
The most important things to remember is that you need to relax and stick with it. Like I have said numerous times, change comes with repeating an action. A muscle becomes stronger when it is worked every day.
Using a mix or self-hypnosis, affirmations and visualisations, each day will have a positive impact on your life and overcoming your fears. So be sure to make this a part of your daily routine for at the very least, the next 4 weeks.