Confidence is something that as children we have an abundance of. We are fearless and full of enthusiasm. Then we reach an age where we are being told, by parents and teachers, what we can do and what we can’t do. Other children and sometime’s even adults, tell us we are stupid or ugly or incapable of something and guess what? Our precious young minds start to believe it to be true. We then carry those thoughts and feelings into our adult lives and we find that we lose confidence in who we are and what we really are capable of achieving.
As you sit here today, I would like you to think about a time in your life where you felt most confident. Focus on the positive feelings of confidence. Anytime a negative memory or thought comes up, just acknowledge it’s there and re-focus on the positive memory. This can take some getting used to but over time, the more you do this, the easier and more natural it will become.
Use your notebook or the learning book, to jot down anything that comes to mind. Ask yourself these questions:
Where were you when you felt the most confident?
What were you doing?
What was happening around you?
Who was around you?
What did it feel like?
Take some time to reconnect with this memory and try to imagine you are once again at that moment. Once you have finished, and only then, you can move onto the next stage.
So now you have a memory of a time in your past when you felt most confident, I would like you to understand this. That was you. No one else. You.
Now take a look at all the conditions around you during that time. Does anything stand out for you? What were you doing or what was happening at that time of your life, that is not happening now?
I mean, you are still the same person right? So why were you so confident then but not now? If you can see an obvious reason, then great! Take action right now. Sometimes you may need to work on this a little longer to figure it out, which is perfectly normal.
If you need any help with this, then get in touch for a one 2 one session and we can work through this together. Please note, a private one 2 one session with me is not included in this course. Any addition coaching will be at an additional cost.
The main focus of this exercise is to show you that you can be confident, you have been before and can be again. You just need to believe it to be true.
As mentioned previously, this program is all about what you put into it. There are no quick fixes, especially when it comes to matters of the human psyche. You have to work at it and put your all in. You have already invested your time and money into this program, so you owe it to yourself to give it your all.
For the next 14 days, I would like you to repeat this task. Every day. No exceptions.
Firstly, I would like you to stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself for 10 seconds. When you reach ten, I would like you to give yourself a really big smile and hold it for 10 seconds. Don’t look away and don’t break your grin. I want you to really smile at yourself. When the time is up, repeat these words to your reflection, 7 times, you are confident and brilliant.
Do this every day for two weeks. You may feel silly at first and even uncomfortable, but there is a method to this madness, I promise.
Changing the way you think
It has been proven that taking negative thoughts and turning them into positive ones, can make a huge difference to your overall quality of life. So, how do we do this? Well, firstly, it takes a lot of practice and patience. You might have years of self-doubting and negative thinking that you need to change. I can assure you this is absolutely and undeniably doable, but you have to work at it, especially in the beginning.
Your mind controls everything that you do. What you think, what you feel, how you learn and of course, all of your memories. According to the National Science Foundation, on average you and I, both have somewhere between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts each day. Of those thoughts, around 80% of them are negative. That is a lot of bad vibes for one person to live with every single day!
Around 95% are thought to be repetitive thoughts, so each day we are repeating a wave of negativity over and over! For the next few days, I would like you to try and notice these thoughts and when you catch yourself thinking negatively, I want you to stop, acknowledge it and think of something positive. If it helps, write them down. But for every negative thought or feeling, you need to also have a positive one to replace it with.
This process will take some time before it becomes natural. You will always experience negative thoughts and emotions, but over time, you will learn how to control these and soon, you will begin to turn bad situations and experiences into better ones. Start today and tomorrow will be easier.